Fawlty Towers – June 2017

‘The communal dinner was not a happy experience in a small dining room which made it impossible to avoid hearing a self-opinionated bore inflict himself on a perfectly respectable middle-aged American couple, who were forced to listen (along with the rest of us, by dint of his volume) as he recounted his many successes as a theatrical producer.  The fact that the Americans had come to Ireland for the funeral of the husband’s brother made this surreal, for their relating of this news led merely to a five- minute break in the outpouring of vanity, which then continued – Monty Python style – unabated.’

‘This is certainly a quirky hotel. On arrival in our room the first thing I did was turn the radiator on – it was freezing. Surely you ensure that bedrooms are warm for new arrivals. The room and the receptions areas could do with a good clean, I could make marks in the dust on the dining room chairs.  Many of the books in the sitting areas should be disposed of – I can’t think who reads some which they have .’

‘Dinner was not great; clearly microwaved main courses on the first night; cheese was put out directly from the fridge. We were rushed through so they could set the tables for breakfast the next morning – by 8 pm last night there were my wife and I, plus a table of four eating while other tables were being set for breakfast. Breakfast is from 8-9 am which is unusual that it doesn’t last a bit longer, particularly at weekends.’

‘A Georgian mansion of considerable stature, but in need of work and investment.  In our bedroom the paintwork and finishing – both on the landing (problems with cleaning also here) and especially in the minute bathroom with its severely cracked sink and its inefficient shower – left much to be desired.  Trailing extension leads and the absence of any means of closing the bedroom door, save that of placing a chair (itself falling apart) to prevent it swinging open seem unworthy of a business which promotes itself as a centre of excellence. Heating only came on in the morning after we got up at 8.15 am.  The toiletries were supplied in wretched push pump plastic tubs, which disgorge more down the side of the bottle than into the hand.’