For almost 120 years, the Baldry family have welcomed guests to their ancient farmhouse overlooking Lake Ullswater. ‘Wonderfully old-fashioned’ or ‘lost in time’, it’s a Marmite sort of hotel (the kind of place where you might indeed expect Marmite along with the butter balls and heather honey, the tomato juice, the Rich Tea biscuits). ‘As soon as one steps through the door there is a cosy, comfortable feel.’ Small sitting rooms have ‘a good fire, china, paintings, fringed lamps’. Bedrooms have no lock or key, ‘no TV, no mobile signal or Wi-Fi’, just lovely views and quiet. Beds are conventionally dressed, bathrooms supplied with bars of Imperial Leather. Grandfather clocks say ‘Time for tea.’ A gong summons guests for an ‘excellent but never fancy’ four-course dinner, perhaps liver and bacon; trifle and ice cream – perfect for hungry fell walkers. ‘Chef Colin Akrigg joined from [the legendary] Sharrow Bay, where he worked in its glory years,’ says a local devotee. Beds are turned down, electric blankets switched on. ‘Everything is done just so,’ an inspector relates. ‘Tables are beautifully laid. It’s so retro it’s almost trendy.’ (Stephanie Thompson, and others)